Mmmm...

So I tried out a new recipe last night and I swear by it...

You mix 1 box of Pillsbury Devil's Food cake mix and 1 15 oz. can of pumpkin...and that's IT. You don't need to add anything else. I made cupcakes, but this recipe would also work for chocolatey brownies too. I finished them off with cream cheese frosting and they were amazing.

I got this recipe from Hungry-Girl.com. The cupcakes w/o frosting are 3 pts and with are about 4.

Oh! And for more chocolately goodness...try 0 pt. hot cocoa...it's either called "Diet" or Fat Free...it's 25 cals a pack and very yummy.

I went to my meeting today during lunch. I planned on staying and was very disappointed to see who was leading...the poor woman. She's just not very entertaining and doesn't get me all excited about WW like others. I weigh exactly the same as I did two weeks ago today. Not bad considering that was before AZ and my crazy cookie monster behavior that I had Sunday night after my mom's concert. And very little exercise...

I've done yoga the twice this past week and it is REALLY hard to hold positions when you're overweight :( I pulled many-a-muscle. With the Halloween party Friday, I'm just hoping to look okay in my Marilyn costume. Thank goodness she was a curvy woman!

Baking...

So I baked the world's greatest FAT FREE muffins yesterday. Of course, the full fat kind would most definitely win out in a bake-off contest, but you wouldn't believe these muffins are fat free. So I can't really take all the credit, but I can tell you what they are...Krusteaz Fat Free Blueberry Muffin Mix. You really just drain the blueberries and add water and then bake those suckers for 18 minutes. I recommend nuking them in the microwave and adding spray butter for yummy perfection.

And...I don't recommend using steel cut oats as an oatmeal solution :) I grabbed the wrong tin by mistake and tried to make the oatmeal chocolate chip cookies that I'd planned on. I shouldn't have. They were VERY disgusting and crunchy and poor G and A1 can vouch for me. Sorry guys.

And on a non-baking note...if you want to make a yummy low-point chicken quesadilla...

2 La Tortilla Factory tortillas (2 tortillas for 1 point!! Get them @ Traders)
1/4 cup low fat or fat free cheese (although it takes a LONGGGG time to melt)
green onions
chicken breast, chopped
top with light sour cream and salsa...Mmmm

So I've been totally hiding from this blog ever since returning from my vacay to AZ. I went way off program and had a great time. I've since weighed myself and I feel like the scale is wrong...I only gained one pound, which seems so wrong, but I'll take it.

I told myself that I'd work out Monday-Thurs before weighing in just to give myself that little cushion. I haven't. So I desperately need to get back into that as well.

A little shout out to C who's been having all kinds of great things happening in her life. Congrats on the newest size!!! Very, very exciting. And to have all those people notice your great success at your benefit...such a great feeling.

Weigh in was successful! Down a pound exactly, which is great considering the weekend I had :) Very happy with the results. I'm raising the roof as we speak. Please join me in doing so.

So I'm leaving for AZ tonight, which means weigh in is today during lunch. I weighed myself last night (my roomie keeps a scale in between the fridge and the pantry...nice, huh?) and I was very pleased. But somehow I managed to gain 2 lbs while sleeping. I'm sure there's some scientific reason for this.

Very excited for the trip. I love AZ, despite everyone elses bashing, calling it the "armpit of America." We go out every night, eat fun food, and the people are really great (and very attractive). I just hope I manage to keep myself in check and don't go overboard with everything.

Carrie...tips??

I was a good girl today :) Went walking and even stayed under my daily points (this includes flex). Woooohooooo.

Oh and I made a diet-friendly tuna melt for dinner. Check out www.hungry-girl.com for the exact details.

So I went way off the wagon these past two days. I blame wine and my roommate. He has this five gallon tub of chocolate ice cream. It's 3 points for every 1/2 cup, which is a rediculous serving size. That boils down to a point a bite. Not only does the roomie have the tub of ice cream, he makes these chocolate and peanut butter - MY FAVE COMBINATION - shakes. So I didn't make the shake, but I did help myself to some of his ice cream and drizzled my own 2 pt peanut butter over the top. It was heaven.

Old Woman is NOT going to be pleased and she might even break out the tears during our next weigh in.

On a scarier note, I'm realizing how close Halloween is...I planned on being Marilyn Monroe again this year, but I'm really hoping it fits alright. Why couldn't she have been famous for wearing a black dress? It's so much more flattering than white.

I did really well with points yesterday. Old Woman would be so proud of me. I met friends for dinner, but I ate my Smart Ones first so I really just met them for wine :) I should'nt have. While I didn't have that much wine, it really hit me because I was hungry. Turned out to be an awkward time and I put my foot in my mouth (0 points) a few times. Probably won't be drinking on an empty stomach any time soon.

On the drive home I was listening to Ray LaMontagne's Lesson Learned and I just had a breakdown. I was thinking of things that were discussed over dinner - rude things that people have said to me about my weight - and it was just all too much. Needless to say I sat in my car for a good fifteen minutes, trying to compose myself, but I looked like a wreck.

When do we finally let go of all that baggage? How can those assholes still have that effect on me? And why did I allow these people in my life after they'd treated me so badly?

Because the words are so fitting...

• Lesson Learned • by Ray Lamontagne

Well the truth it fell so heavy
Like a hammer through the room
That I could choose another over her
You always said I was an actor, baby
Guess in truth you thought me just amateur
That you never saw the signs
That you never lost your grip
Oh, come on now
That's such a childish claim
Now I wear the brand of traitor
Don't it seem a bit absurd
When it's clear I was so obviously framed
When it's clear I was so obviously framed
Now you act so surprised
To hear what you already know
And all you really had to do was ask
I'd have told you straight away
All those lies were truth
And all that was false was fact
Now you hold me close and hard
But I was like a statue at most
Refusing to acknowledge you'd been hurt
Now you're clawing at my throat
And you're crying all is lost
But your tears they felt so hot upon my shirt
But your tears they felt so hot upon my shirt
Well the truth it fell so heavy
Like a hammer through the room
That I could choose another over her
You always said I was an actor, baby
Guess in truth you thought me just amateur
Was it you who told me once
Now looking back it seems so real
That all our mistakes are merely grist for the mill
So why is it now after I had my fill
That you steal from me the sorrow that I've earned
Shall we call this a lesson learned?
Shall we call this a lesson learned?

vino

I just calculated how many points it'd be for an entire bottle of wine. Not too shabby...12. Now I just have to make sure and share the bottle so I don't polish it off myself.

I got weighed in last night by this woman that I've never seen before. She was probably in her late sixties and very serious. She looked over my chart, let out a sigh, and said, "I want you to succeed." She was so serious, you'd think she was pleading with me to get sober for good. That will probably come next. It was awkward. She gave me a tracker and asked me to fill it out, bring it back next week, hand it to my leader and say, "I'm struggling." She finished with another very grim, "I want you to succeed." Clearly, she wasn't happy with me. And she shouldn't be. I've gained about nine pounds SINCE rejoining a few months back. All day I've seen this woman's face - sad and serious - in every bite I take.

It's been a struggle this entire second bout with WW. How the hell did I do it before and why is it so much harder for me this time?