Swamp

So because I don't want people thinking I live in a disgusting swamp of a bedroom, I've been very careful about whom I share my leech story with. My roommate swears he doesn't see the bugs that are taking over the condo in rapid succession (I think we all knowt this is a lie). Half of the people I shared the leech story with assured me that it was a slug. But I'm telling you - this was no slug. I've done extensive research in the last 48 hours. First, slugs have these cute little bug antennae. Secondly, they don't raise their asses in the air and wave to and fro. Leeches, however, do do this and it's referred to as the "alert posture." The little bastard was searching for food:


Apparently leeches burrow themselves into the soil for months at a time. Then they latch onto my doggy when she pees and end up inside. I'm haunted. Every black string, every black piece of lint that I've come across in the past two days, I assume is another leech. So, if I have you over for tea and crumpets anytime soon, I feel it necessary to provide you with the following. I call it

Removing Leeches in a Safe Manner:

"If you are bitten by a leech and are compelled to remove it before it has had its full (leeches drop off on their own when they are done feeding), you can do so by following these steps:
1. Identify the anterior (oral) sucker which will be found at the small end of the leech.
2. Put your finger on your skin adjacent to the oral sucker
3. Gently but firmly slide your finger toward the wound where the leech is feeding. Using your fingernail, push the sucker sideways away from your skin.
4. Once you have dislodged the oral sucker, quickly detach the posterior (rear) sucker (the fat end of the leech). Try flicking the leech or proding with your fingernail. As you work to remove the leech, it will attempt to reattach itself.
5. Keep the wound clean -- minor cuts in tropical climates can quickly become infected. The leech itself is not poisonous. The wound will itch as it heals.

***NOTE: Is it generally not advised to attempt removing a leech by burning with a cigarette; applying mosquito repellent, shampoo, or salt; or pulling at the leech. This can result the leech regurgitating into the wound and causing infection much worse than the leech bite itself. In the case that a leech invades an orifice like your nose, ear, or mouth you have a slightly more serious problem since the leach will expand as it fills with blood. If you have access to strong (drinkable) alcohol or hydrogen peroxide you can try gargling (if the leech is in your mouth). Worst case scenario you may have to puncture the leech with a sharp object."

On a sexy note, "Leech socks can be helpful in preventing bites when the full body will not be at risk of contact with leeches. Leech socks are pulled over the wearer’s trousers to prevent leeches reaching the exposed skin of the legs and attaching there or climbing towards the torso. The socks are generally a light color that also makes it easier to spot leeches climbing up from the feet and looking for skin to attach to."